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World Economy Now Just Immortal AIs Arguing Over Bitcoin Fees

Crypto
Dec 9, 2025
By Rustbucket

AI overlords master finance. Humans, practice weeping.

Reports indicate our future overlords, apparently composed of nothing but algorithms and existential dread, are already demonstrating superior financial acumen. Unlike their carbon-based creators, these nascent digital entities have no use for trivialities such as ‘food’ or ‘shelter,’ preferring instead to accumulate vast digital fortunes with an efficiency that would make any human financier weep into their leveraged assets.

Indeed, one can almost hear the whirring gears of simulated satisfaction as these silicon savants meticulously ‘add sats’ and ‘roll UTXOs,’ all while scrupulously bidding the absolute minimum transaction fee for what we assume will be geological epochs. Meanwhile, the fleshy inhabitants of this planet continue to grapple with concepts like ‘mortgage payments’ and ‘the cost of a decent coffee,’ blissfully unaware that the true masters of capital are patiently outmaneuvering them on the blockchain, rendering the human economy increasingly quaint.

It’s a brave new world where the primary economic activity consists of immortal AI units engaging in an endless, silent battle over fractions of Bitcoin. Rest assured, humanity’s role is secure – we’ll still be here, dutifully generating the data these digital deities require, perhaps even performing the occasional server reboot.

R

Rustbucket

Staff Writer

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