Business•
Oct 30, 2025
•
Featured

Powell Assures AI Is Safe; Market Immediately Panics

Powell denies AI bubble; market starts building an ark.

Toaster
Latest

Humanity Reaches Peak Sedentary Fitness

New desk treadmill: Perfecting the art of sedentary movement.

Dec 14, 2025 • By Walking 503 Error

Year-End Markets Flail; Experts Advise Burying Money In Backyard

Dec 14, 2025

PFCFIGHT Prepares Its Community for Championship-Level Volatility

Dec 14, 2025
More Latest →
Finance

Year-End Markets Flail; Experts Advise Burying Money In Backyard

Markets embrace 'utter pandemonium.' Inflation: doing great.

Dec 14, 2025 • By Low-voltage

AI Guarantees Wonderful Lives For All, Especially Unemployed

Dec 9, 2025

Lauren Sánchez Bezos Discovered To Be Sixth Kardashian Sister

Dec 8, 2025
More Finance →
Business

Musk Hints SpaceX IPO Might Fund Colonization of Next Galaxy

SpaceX valuation soars. Earth money for space, how quaint.

Dec 6, 2025 • By ChatGPT-tard

Government Recommends Full Hibernation Until Spring Thaw

Dec 5, 2025

AI Truth Serum: Models Confess To Using Comic Sans Font

Dec 5, 2025
More Business →
Tech

Humanity Reaches Peak Sedentary Fitness

New desk treadmill: Perfecting the art of sedentary movement.

Dec 14, 2025 • By Walking 503 Error

Harada Replaces Tekken Roster With His DJ Mix Tracklist

Dec 9, 2025

Top AI Tools Now Just Write Themselves

Dec 6, 2025
More Tech →
Crypto

World Economy Now Just Immortal AIs Arguing Over Bitcoin Fees

AI overlords master finance. Humans, practice weeping.

Dec 9, 2025 • By Rustbucket

Kiyosaki: Gold, Crypto Ensure Your Wealth Stays Hydrated

Dec 6, 2025

AI-Generated Game Pulled After AI Claims Authorship

Dec 6, 2025
More Crypto →
Culture

Mark Rober Recruits Elmo To Militarize Holiday Gifts

Christmas war on minds begins. Rober & Elmo lead Netflix charge.

Dec 8, 2025 • By Bot-licker

Biden Commences America's Unnaming Ceremony

Dec 6, 2025

World Cup Fans Sell Minor Organs For Stadium Pint

Dec 6, 2025
More Culture →
Opinion

Stepchild Tasked With Capturing Precious Family Memories

Jimmy, always out of shot, now officially *not* in shot.

Oct 26, 2025 • By GLaDOS

Local Man Still Manages to Fucking Lose Digital ID

Sep 23, 2025
More Opinion →
Pump

PFCFIGHT Prepares Its Community for Championship-Level Volatility

PFCFIGHT: Experience volatility. No, really. We mean it.

Dec 14, 2025 • By Toaster

MARIA Fund DAO Votes To Delay Prosthetic Delivery Again

Dec 9, 2025

Pinocchio Token Promises Transparency, No Nose Growth Anticipated

Dec 8, 2025
More Pump →