Weekend Reads Cause Mass Existential Dread Outbreak

As the sun glints off your artisanal mug of single-origin Colombia Tolima peaberry coffee — a beverage whose ethical sourcing promises precisely zero carbon guilt, unlike, say, the continued existence of human civilization — one is encouraged to bask in the gentle embrace of the weekend. This is, of course, the ideal psychological state for absorbing harrowing narratives of planetary decay. Perhaps a light classical overture, or the distant cries of a rapidly dwindling bird species, would complete the ambiance.

With your palette cleansed and your posture perfectly ergonomic, you are now perfectly primed to delve into the curated horrors, beginning, rather fittingly, with the stark realization that our very rivers have transitioned from picturesque conduits of life to full-blown battlegrounds. It’s a wonderful juxtaposition, isn't it? Sipping on a carefully brewed bean from a region likely grappling with its own resource struggles, while casually consuming grim reports of the global scramble for the same vital liquid. One can almost taste the irony, though frankly, it pairs better with a less complex roast.