Veterinarians Confirm CZ's Dog BROCCOLI Is a Plant

The esteemed practitioners of veterinary science have, after extensive deliberation and perhaps a small amount of existential dread, officially declared Changpeng Zhao's beloved canine companion, BROCCOLI, to be a plant. This groundbreaking revelation comes just as the *asset* (for we can call it little else) experienced a meteoric 60% increase in perceived value, a testament, one presumes, to its newfound botanical classification.

Analysts, seemingly unperturbed by the biological paradox, continue to chart the alleged "price" of this sentient shrub within an "ascending parallel channel." One must wonder if this rigorous examination includes daily soil pH readings or an assessment of its photosynthetic efficiency. In an era where digital meme coins derived from abstract concepts can achieve stratospheric valuations, perhaps a literal vegetable-dog is merely the next logical step. We await news on whether CZ plans to stake his prized plant in the garden, or on Binance.