Trump Declares Wokeness Sole Cause Of Next Endless War

The promise of a new Pax Americana, wherein the United States would miraculously extricate itself from the "stupid endless wars" of yore, appears to be undergoing a subtle reinterpretation. One might have envisioned this future as an era of diplomatic triumphs or perhaps just a prolonged absence from global affairs. Instead, Donald Trump has identified a rather novel architect of future conflict: "wokeness." Not the usual geopolitical nemeses, but the creeping specter of social awareness, apparently now a viable military threat.

This groundbreaking strategic insight suggests future military engagements will not be fought over oil, territory, or even democracy, but against an amorphous cultural enemy. The notion of "endless wars" now takes on a profound new meaning, as one can scarcely deploy a drone against an evolving social concept or launch a precision strike on a particularly egregious diversity seminar. This redefines the very essence of combat, ensuring that the fight against wokeness could, theoretically, last until the very last person remembers to use a preferred pronoun. What a triumph for the military-industrial complex, now with an adversary truly beyond defeat.