Texas Declares Cryptocurrency More Stable Than Its Power Grid

It appears the fine people of Texas, ever the pragmatists, have concluded that a digital ledger entry prone to the whims of anonymous online forums and Elon Musk's tweets offers a more dependable foundation for state security than, say, a functioning power grid. The Texas Blockchain Council proudly announced the state’s pioneering venture into holding Bitcoin as a “strategic reserve asset,” a move surely calculated to inspire confidence in its ability to weather future, entirely foreseeable, energy crises.

One can only imagine the sigh of relief echoing across the Lone Star State, knowing that when the mercury plummets and the lights inevitably flicker out, their governmental coffers will be bolstered by an asset whose value fluctuates with the serene stability of a toddler’s mood swing. Citizens can rest easy, knowing their collective future is now intertwined with a financial instrument whose primary selling point is its utter disregard for traditional economic principles. Perhaps next, they'll declare meme stocks a suitable hedge against drought.