TeraWulf Stock Drops After Company Discovers Gold on Premises

Investors in TeraWulf were reportedly in a state of quiet panic this week after the Bitcoin mining firm confirmed the unsettling discovery of actual, physical gold deposits directly beneath their primary facility. The news sent shares tumbling, with market analysts quick to highlight the inherent contradiction of a digital enterprise now burdened by such an anachronistic find.

Sources close to the company indicated a palpable sense of existential dread. This unexpected mineral wealth, they suggested, threatens to complicate TeraWulf's meticulously crafted narrative of a sleek, purely virtual operation. The market, ever-rational, found the prospect of a high-tech venture dabbling in something so... primitive as inert yellow metal utterly anathema to shareholder value.

How, industry insiders are now asking, does one 'mine' gold without incurring the wrath of the environmental lobby, let alone explaining to shareholders why their cutting-edge digital venture is suddenly burdened with antiquated excavators? The concern, it seems, is less about the precious metal's inherent worth and more about the bewildering implications for a company dedicated to non-corporeal assets. The stock market reacted with predictable disdain, proving once again that tangible reality can really spoil a good virtual party.