Study: Young People Just Need To Be Born 60 Years Earlier

A groundbreaking new study confirms what many have long suspected: the secret to financial stability for today's beleaguered youth lies in a simple, yet elegant solution – time travel. Specifically, researchers suggest that being born approximately six decades earlier would dramatically improve one's capacity to accumulate wealth and, crucially, save a tidy sum of £200 a month. This astonishing revelation, spearheaded by an 86-year-old financial guru, posits that the modern generation simply lacks the correct "mindset" for fiscal prudence, a mindset apparently only available pre-1970s.

Indeed, why bother with the contemporary nightmare of stagnant wages and a raging housing crisis when one could, hypothetically, purchase a detached property for a song and enjoy decades of robust economic growth? The study's author highlights the apparent ease with which one could secure a comfortable pension and still stash away a significant portion of income, provided, of course, that one had the foresight to choose the correct birth year. It’s all about priorities, apparently.

This potent wisdom suggests that perhaps the real challenge isn't a spiralling cost of living or predatory lending, but merely an unfortunate generational oversight in timing one’s arrival. Young people, take note: next time, plan better.