Study Confirms Crypto Capable Of Infinite New Lows

The scientific community has reportedly made a groundbreaking discovery, confirming what many astute observers had already suspected: Cryptocurrency possesses the unprecedented ability to reach "infinite new lows." This revelation, arriving just as the industry once again chuckled at its own alleged demise, suggests a paradigm shift in our understanding of mathematical limits and financial floorboards. Apparently, the much-vaunted Bitcoin, often hailed as a digital gold, is now also pioneering the concept of digital quicksand, where every new bottom merely serves as a prelude to a deeper, more profound abyss.

Experts lauded the asset class for its "innovative disregard for conventional market support," a characteristic that ensures perpetual engagement from its most dedicated adherents, who have learned to HODL not just *through* the dips, but *into* them, eternally anticipating a rebound that remains perpetually out of reach. This unique brand of market volatility has transformed investment into a philosophical journey, prompting participants to question the very definition of "value" as their portfolios approach the quantum realm of negative returns. Truly, an asset for the ages, or at least, for the ages *of decline*.