Sinema's Historic Independence Changes Nothing, Confuses Interns

In a move that has undoubtedly sent shockwaves through the nation’s supply of branded stationery, Senator Kyrsten Sinema has bravely declared herself an Independent. This historic pivot, we are assured, fundamentally alters the very fabric of American governance, primarily by requiring minor updates to certain internal party spreadsheets. Observers close to the situation confirm that the *caucusing* arrangements, which dictate where one sits and how one votes on legislation, will remain precisely as they were before this seismic shift. A truly bold step in the grand tradition of rearranging deck chairs.

The newfound freedom from party affiliation means that while Senator Sinema is no longer officially a Democrat, she will continue to participate in the Democratic caucus in the upper chamber, where important decisions are made by people who are definitely not just doing what they always did. This nuanced reclassification, we understand, allows for unprecedented flexibility in... well, in whatever it was she was doing before. Rest assured, the interns tasked with updating the official party rosters are being adequately compensated for their tireless work in this era of profound political evolution, particularly those in Arizona.