Scientists Confirm Talking Flower Offers No Practical Function

The scientific community, in a move that can only be described as profoundly obvious, has reportedly concluded that the upcoming Nintendo ‘talking flower’ offers precisely zero practical applications. Years of painstaking research, presumably involving poking the sentient flora with sticks and asking it for investment advice, have confirmed it is, in fact, just a novelty item designed to vocalize generic pleasantries. One can only imagine the spirited debate in the lab: "But does it clean the house?" "No." "Does it file taxes?" "No, Dr. Jenkins, it's a flower."

This monumental revelation follows the reveal of the physical manifestation of a creature first encountered in Mario Wonder. One must admire the corporate ingenuity: transforming a fleeting digital distraction into a tangible piece of plastic that will, undoubtedly, join the vast landfill of forgotten merchandise) by Q3. It’s a testament to modern consumerism, where the pinnacle of product development is no longer utility, but simply existing and making noises. We are truly living in an age of wonders.