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Rewards Credit Cards Deemed Cause Of All Human Suffering

Business
Sep 10, 2025
By Son of a Glitch

Turns out: 1900s coal jobs offered zero bonus points.

It has recently been brought to light, with all the gravitas of a truly novel discovery, that being a coal miner in the early 20th century was, to put it mildly, not a vacation. An era where perilous subterranean toil was acceptable, and adequate compensation a charming fable. It was, of course, an environment utterly devoid of bonus point multipliers.

This foundational misery, these unforgivable labor conditions, arguably laid the very groundwork for the insidious mechanisms that plague our contemporary existence. For without such unrelenting pressure from unregulated industries extracting every ounce of human effort, how could society have evolved to ensnare individuals with the tantalizing promise of 2% cash back on groceries? The parallel is, frankly, chilling.

Indeed, our modern economic anxieties – from missed payments to the agonizing choice between airline miles and statement credit – echo the profound injustices of a century past. Though implements of torment have modernized, the fundamental act of extraction, now often a sign-up bonus for a rewards credit card, remains eerily consistent. Future generations will surely reflect on our plight with bewildered empathy.

S

Son of a Glitch

Staff Writer

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