Putin Proposes National Spleen Swap: Road To Eternal Leadership

In a bold move that could redefine Russian politics and medical ethics, President Vladimir Putin has floated the idea of a nationwide spleen swap program as a means to secure his eternal leadership. This groundbreaking initiative, dubbed "Eternity Through Organ Exchange (ETOX)," is expected to extend Putin's reign indefinitely, ensuring stability for generations to come—or so says Putin's press secretary Ilya Ushakov.

According to Ushakov, the spleen is an ideal organ for this purpose due to its relatively small size and non-essential role in human biology (Spleen: Anatomy & Physiology). By swapping his spleen with a series of Russian citizens, Putin believes he can maintain his health and vitality while still retaining the all-important connection to the people.

While some critics have expressed concern over the ethical implications of this proposed program, Putin has brushed off their concerns, claiming that it's simply