Premier League Confirms Rulebook Now Written In Oil Money

According to sources close to the Premier League, a significant shake-up in the rulebook has occurred, with the new edition now being exclusively written in oil money. This change is expected to bring a whole new level of clarity and transparency to the game, as players will now be able to visually understand the financial implications of every decision they make on the pitch.

The move comes after Manchester City's long-standing dispute with the league over sponsor rules was finally resolved, with both parties agreeing that oil money is the ideal medium for all future agreements. League officials have confirmed that this new format will ensure a smoother flow of funds and a more seamless integration of corporate interests into the beautiful game.

Local residents were initially taken aback by the sudden shift in language, with some even suggesting it could lead to an environmental disaster on the pitch. However, league officials were quick to quell such concerns, assuring everyone that the new rulebook is fully recyclable and biodegradable – as long as you have a refinery nearby.