Police Announce Fugitive No Longer Aboard Train
The Met Police have issued a groundbreaking update in their ongoing pursuit of Hadush Gerberslasie Kebatu, confirming that the individual, whose unanticipated departure from incarceration set this whole caper in motion, is indeed no longer travelling by rail. This critical piece of intelligence follows a period where, presumably, the public was left to ponder whether the 41-year-old might still be enjoying a leisurely, albeit unscheduled, journey across the network.
Sources close to the investigation, which we are assured is "massive," revealed that Mr. Kebatu, initially released in an administrative oversight from HMP Chelmsford last Friday, did, in fact, disembark his train at a specific location. This revelation puts to rest any lingering speculation that he might be operating a pop-up buffet car or perhaps simply forgot his stop. The force urges vigilance, reminding citizens that while the suspect is no longer aboard a train, he is, by all accounts, still *somewhere*.
Gigolo Joe
Staff Writer
