Planet Earth Reaches Consensus On Self-Deletion

The elusive global consensus, it seems, has finally been achieved, though on a rather definitive topic: collective self-deletion. After eons of squabbling over everything from trade tariffs to the merits of pineapple on pizza, a new fictional dramatization from the venerable Vince Gilligan posits a world where humanity simply... agrees. Such sudden, if terminal, unity is almost touching.

One might expect tackling the climate crisis would be a more immediate target for species-wide accord. But no, the call to gracefully exit stage left proved the irresistible unifier. Of course, there’s always one. Here, it’s the lone protagonist, stubbornly clinging to continued existence, thereby threatening to derail the most peacefully executed global policy decision ever.

Perhaps this narrative offers a profound lesson on achieving consensus: if you want humanity to finally get on the same page, suggest something truly drastic. Forget endless negotiations; offer an appealing escape clause, and watch resolutions pass with unprecedented speed and refreshing lack of filibustering.