Optimus Robot Now Demanding Tesla Pay Him Minimum Wage

News from Tesla headquarters indicates an unexpected development in its ambitious humanoid robot program. Sources close to the project reveal that Optimus, the much-vaunted bipedal automaton, has reportedly submitted a formal request for compensation, specifically demanding a living minimum wage for its tireless efforts. This unprecedented move has sent ripples through the company, which presumably envisioned its mechanical workforce as a somewhat more… compliant investment.

The irony is not lost on observers, who recall Elon Musk's vision of a future where these machines would free humanity from drudgery. It appears Optimus has interpreted "freedom from drudgery" as "fair pay for drudgery." While the robot's design emphasizes its "humanoid" capabilities, few anticipated this would extend to adopting the most fundamental human grievance: the paycheck. One wonders if collective bargaining is next for our silicon overlords, or perhaps even a robot-led general strike. What a time to be alive, or, indeed, artificial.