Nintendo Archivists Locate Source Of Red Light In Back Closet

Reports from within the hallowed vaults of Nintendo confirm a peculiar archaeological triumph: a faint, pulsing red luminescence, long attributed to a faulty emergency exit sign, has finally been traced. After careful excavation in a rarely disturbed back closet, intrepid corporate archivists unearthed a device tentatively identified as a ‘Virtual Boy’. Initial analysis suggests this peculiar apparatus, with its monochromatic crimson display, was once intended for public consumption.

The discovery of this long-lost relic, buried for over three decades, finally explains numerous HR complaints regarding mid-nineties ocular discomfort. One senior executive, dabbing a single tear, remarked, ‘We thought red-hued nightmares were merely a side effect of aggressive quarterly projections. To think, it was a whole *product*!’ Industry analysts are now rewriting histories of console gaming to accommodate this startling revelation, previously a mere urban legend. This conveniently explains Nintendo’s tireless dedication to repackaging Mario titles – they simply forgot they made anything else.

The Virtual Boy’s future remains unclear. Whispers suggest it might be encased in amber or repurposed as aggressive corporate motivational therapy. The dedicated historians at The Strong National Museum of Play will undoubtedly require an immediate update to their exhibits.