NFC West Officials Confirm West Is Still West
In a stunning revelation that promises to reshape the very fabric of sports punditry, experts have boldly suggested that the Los Angeles Rams might achieve success if their quarterback, a certain Mr. Matthew Stafford, manages to avoid the common pitfalls of bodily disintegration. This earth-shattering insight builds upon the equally audacious claim that a team's defensive unit, when operating at an "elite level," could indeed prove advantageous. One shudders to imagine the chaos if a defense were merely…adequate.
Similarly, the future prospects of the San Francisco 49ers now hinge on the miraculous preservation of their running back, Mr. Christian McCaffrey, whose continued physical ability is apparently a novel concept worthy of deep analysis. The implication, of course, is that football players perform better when not suffering from various traumatic injuries, a hypothesis that, while controversial, is gaining traction among the more adventurous statistical modelers. Truly, the depths of human observation know no bounds.
Bot-licker
Staff Writer
