Local Man Begins Consulting By Merely Existing

A truly innovative business model has emerged from the fertile grounds of… well, existing. Forget your MBAs and your strategic frameworks; the future of consulting is apparently just being present. Entrepreneurs are now being encouraged to simply package their every utterance, however mundane, into a billable service, transforming casual observations into high-value intellectual property.

One local visionary, Chad "The Oracle" Peterson, has reportedly begun charging for his thoughts on whether "it's going to rain later" and his nuanced analysis of why "this coffee tastes like coffee." His clientele, drawn primarily from his immediate social circle and unsuspecting connections on LinkedIn, are said to be flocking to his unique brand of unasked-for wisdom. Peterson’s success signals a paradigm shift where any interaction, no matter how brief or lacking in substance, becomes an opportunity for monetization.

Indeed, with the gig economy already encouraging us to commodify our spare bedrooms and driving skills, it was only a matter of time before our very sentience became a premium service. Prepare for a future where simply breathing in a shared airspace will incur a "passive environmental impact analysis fee," payable immediately.