Lifehacker Live Blog Pinpoints Optimal Moment To Blink

Indeed, the pinnacle of human ingenuity has been reached. After millennia of haphazard ocular contractions, we are finally graced with the algorithmic revelation of the optimal blink interval. One shudders to think of the wasted milliseconds, the sub-optimal retinal hydration, endured by our ancestors. This monumental achievement, presented with the breathless urgency of a breaking news ticker, arrives courtesy of those self-same digital sages who also recommend you *optimize your posture* while simultaneously *optimizing your credit card debt* via their daily digest of must-have deals.

It's a delicate dance, this modern existence. One must vigilantly customize Google to filter out the pervasive "garbage" (presumably, anything not endorsed by the site's myriad affiliate marketing partners), all while eagerly awaiting the next sponsored pronouncement on the best moment to inhale. The irony, of course, being that the very quest for such granular "lifehacks" often feels like the most finely-tuned distraction from anything truly meaningful, leaving us perfectly optimized for perpetual consumption.