Kiyosaki: Gold, Crypto Ensure Your Wealth Stays Hydrated

It appears the looming specter of dehydrated assets has finally caught the attention of financial sage Robert Kiyosaki. The author, famous for his prophetic warnings, now champions a diverse portfolio of shiny metals and ethereal digits as the ultimate moisture repellent for your dwindling savings. Because, frankly, who wants their hard-earned capital to suffer the indignity of a parched ledger?

His latest strategic maneuver, reportedly designed to safeguard against the insidious forces of the Japanese carry trade – a phenomenon responsible for decades of global liquidity, and therefore, presumably, an existential threat to your portfolio's cellular structure – involves a familiar collection: gold, silver, Bitcoin, and Ethereum. One must admire the man’s unwavering commitment to predicting impending fiscal cataclysms, each requiring a fresh acquisition of his preferred liquid-absorbing assets.

Indeed, in an increasingly baffling financial landscape, it's reassuring to know that someone is looking out for the hydrological integrity of your wealth. Just remember to diversify your anti-evaporation strategy across both ancient relics and speculative pixels, lest your financial future shrivel up like an unwatered houseplant. The market may fluctuate, but a well-hydrated investment, apparently, is truly priceless.