Islanders Confirm Aitcheson's Future Trade Value Undiminished

A collective sigh of relief, audible from corporate boxes to the concession stands, swept over the Islanders organization this week. Their prized first-round selection, Kashawn Aitcheson, remarkably managed to *skirt* a major injury following a rather spirited open-ice collision during a recent preseason outing. The news, thankfully, confirmed that the young man's marketability remains robust, an outcome far more vital than, say, his ability to butter toast independently.

Indeed, the specter of a prematurely depreciated asset loomed large for a terrifying few minutes. Imagine the horror: a future blockbuster trade package, perhaps involving a conditional fourth-round pick and a bag of pucks, jeopardized before the regular season even truly begins. The mere thought of having to *re-evaluate* Aitcheson's long-term utility, his projected NHL Draft value, or heaven forbid, his eventual salary arbitration potential, sent shivers down several executive spines. Thankfully, the balance sheet can breathe easy.