Intuit's New 'Agentic AI' Playbook Is Just A Guy Named Chad

Intuit's groundbreaking "Agentic AI" strategy, heralded as the future of financial assistance, has been unmasked as a remarkably familiar innovation: a person. Specifically, a very tired individual named Chad, positioned discreetly within a bustling call center. This revolutionary pivot, described internally as "burning the boats" — though it mostly involved reassigning a cubicle — marks a significant shift from the company's previous reliance on rudimentary chatbots. The nine-month, allegedly grueling, development cycle culminated in Chad's onboarding and a brief tutorial on the new "agentic" workflow, which largely involves answering the phone.

Sources close to the project reveal that this elaborate "playbook," which Intuit hopes competitors will "copy," consists primarily of a laminated sheet detailing Chad's lunch breaks and a flowchart for escalating particularly complex queries to "Steve," who, rumour has it, is also a human. The 40-year-old finance giant claims this human-centric approach will enhance customer satisfaction, primarily by providing actual answers instead of looping through a series of pre-programmed non-sequiturs. This bold step away from silicon-based solutions towards carbon-based ones positions Intuit at the vanguard of... well, customer service as it existed prior to 1995.