Intuit Discovers Customers Prefer Not Talking To Robots

In a stunning revelation that promises to upend established corporate dogma, financial software behemoth Intuit has reportedly 'discovered' that its clientele, when faced with the cold, unfeeling algorithm of automated support, tend to gravitate towards actual, breathing human beings. This groundbreaking insight, which industry analysts are already calling 'the very fabric of human interaction,' emerged after a rigorous, nine-month corporate odyssey involving extensive research and countless PowerPoints.

Sources close to the company indicate this Herculean effort culminated in the ceremonial 'burning of the boats' – presumably those tiny, plastic vessels of their former, chatbot-infested customer service. The resulting 'agentic AI playbook,' a confidential document rumored to contain revolutionary concepts like 'active listening' and 'empathy,' is now being hailed as a triumph of modern engineering. Critics, however, suggest that customer satisfaction metrics may have simply pointed to the enduring appeal of not having to scream "representative" into the void. This innovative approach to problem-solving will undoubtedly reshape the future of artificial intelligence and, perhaps, common sense itself.