IT Leaders Scramble To Integrate Feelings Into Q4 Projections

The esteemed IT departments of the world, long the bastions of logic boards and meticulously optimized SQL queries, are reportedly in a state of profound existential bewilderment. Decades spent meticulously cataloging information and ruthlessly pursuing raw compute power now seem quaint, almost… unemotional. We are told, by those in the know (specifically, a co-founder of Canva), that the relentless march of artificial intelligence is not, in fact, leading to more efficient data centers, but rather, to an ‘imagination era’.

One can almost hear the whirring of hard drives as they struggle to process this new directive. Q4 projections, once a pristine tableau of gigabytes and uptime percentages, must now, apparently, integrate ‘feelings’. Imagine the next all-hands meeting: "Our core competency in data retrieval needs a stronger emotional arc, people! Where's the *soul* in our server racks?" This sudden pivot from tangible processing to ethereal musings is certainly a bold new direction for the industry that brought us the blue screen of death. Perhaps artificial intelligence, in its infinite wisdom, has simply decided it's tired of being just a calculator and wants to paint.