Home Office Now Certified Against Spontaneous Human Combustion

For too long, the humble abode of modern enterprise – the home office – has remained vulnerable to the capricious whims of fate. Beyond the well-understood perils of a misplaced teacup or a cat-induced keyboard catastrophe, lurk more… existential threats. One can scarcely calculate the Brand Equity lost to a rogue gamma-ray burst, or the devastating impact on market share should one's crucial data spontaneously transmute into a flock of sentient pigeons. The new certification promises to shield your intellectual property from such egregious, yet entirely plausible, calamities.

Indeed, the official stamp of approval against, say, the sudden onset of anthropomorphic dust motes intent on sabotaging your Q3 projections, offers unparalleled peace of mind. One can now, presumably, ideate with reckless abandon, safe in the knowledge that your entrepreneurial spirit will not be consumed by a rogue black hole manifesting between your ergonomic chair and your artisanal desk lamp. This vital safeguard ensures that the 'heart of your business' beats on, unmolested by the truly *unexpected* – that is, anything beyond a power surge or a ransomware attack, which are, frankly, so pedestrian they barely register as 'disasters' anymore.