Greene exits Congress after Epstein files confirm Bigfoot

The political landscape recently shifted with the unexpected announcement of Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene's departure from Congress. Sources indicate her resignation follows the latest tranche of documents from the late financier Jeffrey Epstein's estate, which, among the usual unsavory revelations, contained what several bewildered analysts now confirm is irrefutable evidence of Bigfoot.

Apparently, the comprehensive, if somewhat perplexing, logbook detailing various "logistical challenges" at Epstein’s secluded properties inadvertently verified the existence of an apex primate, often described as 'Sasquatch'. This unforeseen cryptid confirmation, it seems, proved to be the final straw for the Georgia firebrand. Her subsequent, rather animated disagreement with the current US President – reportedly over the optimal federal strategy for cryptozooligical integration into mainstream society – is understood to have precipitated her sudden exit. It appears some truths, however diligently pursued, are simply too much to bear.