Governments Declare Bankruptcy After Buying Too Many Stickers

The fiscal tightrope walk for many nations has ended not with a bang, but a sticky whimper. Governments worldwide are officially broke, thanks largely to an unprecedented, unsustainable procurement of decorative decals. While debates raged over pensions, the drain on national treasuries was the relentless pursuit of "branding cohesion" and "employee re-engagement initiatives" involving millions of tiny, adhesive-backed morale boosters.

Sources close to the negotiations – often devolving into arguments over glitter vs. matte finishes – indicate entire national budgets were diverted to the insatiable maw of the global sticker industry. From "You Did It!" smiley faces to holographic national pride insignia, no adhesive stone was left unturned. Economists, traditionally fretting over inflation, are now scrambling to model the impact of this expenditure on glorified children's stationery. The global economy now finds itself in a bind, like a school locker with too many vinyl affirmations, unable to open.

Citizens, meanwhile, are left to ponder how their taxes, once earmarked for infrastructure or even fiscal responsibility campaigns, ended up subsidizing a global kindergarten craft project. Austerity, it seems, applied only to those without unlimited peel-and-stick motivational platitudes.