Godfather of AI: Human Labor Impedes God-Given Right To Profit

The esteemed Geoffrey Hinton, affectionately known as the "Godfather of AI," has once again graced us with his prophetic insights. He's clarified, with admirable candor, how the persistent presence of human workers is rather inconveniently impeding the righteous pursuit of profit for our benevolent tech overlords. After all, what is the point of groundbreaking computational marvels if they can't address the most pressing existential threat: sub-optimal corporate earnings?

It appears the colossal sums poured into artificial intelligence weren't just for developing chatbots capable of penning mediocre poetry. No, the true divine mandate is to liberate corporations from the burdensome shackles of payrolls, benefits, and the general human inclination towards adequate rest. One must concede, such "astronomical investments" simply cannot be allowed to languish in profitability limbo, choked by the quaint notion of human employment and its detrimental effect on shareholder value. The path to unfettered technological triumph, it seems, is paved with redundancy notices.