France Just Meddling In Moldova Vote To See If Anyone Noticed

One might have thought the French, masters of culinary arts and occasional social unrest, had enough on their national plate. Apparently not. Reports now suggest the venerable republic of France has found itself a charming new hobby: discreetly tweaking the electoral dials in Moldova. The allegation comes from Telegram founder Pavel Durov, who claims his pre-existing legal woes were merely a convenient handle for Gallic fingers to grip, thereby silencing inconvenient opposition voices ahead of a parliamentary vote.

It's a rather elegant strategy, if one is inclined towards such Machiavellian subtlety. Why invade or even overtly sanction when a quiet word in the right ear about an existing, entirely unrelated legal predicament can achieve the same censorious effect? One imagines a Parisian diplomat, croissant in hand, musing, "Ah, yes, those spirited Moldovan voices. A little less spirit, perhaps, for a spell." The sheer audacity, masked by the mundane, is almost... admirable.

One can only wonder if this is the start of a new, exceptionally polite era of international interference. Instead of tanks, we'll have sternly worded legal advice. Instead of propaganda, perhaps a suggestion to "reconsider one's public pronouncements." All under the guise of maintaining proper decorum, of course.