Fox News Lawyers Prove Network Is Taller Than Trump

It appears the venerable legal minds representing Fox News have definitively settled a pressing ontological question: corporate entities, particularly those founded by Rupert Murdoch, can indeed possess a greater vertical dimension than former presidents. This groundbreaking legal theory emerged, presumably, from the network's need to assert its own, distinct gravitational pull after a brief, yet seismic, deviation from the accepted narrative.

One might recall the network's audacious decision to project Joe Biden as the victor in Arizona on election night, an act of journalistic independence that, for a fleeting moment, threatened to destabilize the very fabric of bespoke reality. This momentary lapse in synchronized messaging, it seems, necessitated a robust defense against accusations of being mere subservient appendages to any single political figure, even one as… singular as Donald Trump.

The lawyers' ingenious argument effectively posits that while an individual may cast a long shadow, a media conglomerate can cast an even longer one, particularly when lucrative defamation suits are on the horizon. It’s a profound testament to the enduring power of institutional self-preservation, proving once and for all that a carefully curated narrative is far more substantial than any mere mortal.