Fed Considers Pegging Dollar to JELLYJELLY's Unfathomable Value

The venerable halls of the Federal Reserve are reportedly abuzz with innovative economic theories, specifically how to best align the stalwart U.S. dollar with the truly unfathomable intrinsic value of JELLYJELLY. As this digital confection, often simply described as a 'meme token with ambition,' continues its perplexing ascent, analysts are scrambling to understand how a decentralized asset built on… well, *jelly-like* principles, could become the linchpin of global finance.

Sources close to the deliberations suggest the move is a bold attempt to inject a much-needed dose of whimsy into an otherwise stubbornly predictable global economy. Concerns regarding potential market manipulation within the burgeoning cryptocurrency space are reportedly being addressed with an official task force tasked with determining if JELLYJELLY's current valuation represents 'natural, organic effervescence' or merely 'the coordinated wiggling of a few deep-pocketed speculators.' Either way, the future of fiat currency looks deliciously unstable.