Explosives Expert Disappointed In Assassin's Choice of Materials

The ongoing federal trial) concerning the rather enthusiastic amateur's attempt to inconvenience former President Donald Trump at his exclusive West Palm Beach golf club has entered its most riveting phase: the critique. A seasoned explosives expert, evidently accustomed to a higher caliber of incendiary craftsmanship, reportedly expressed profound disappointment with the defendant's material choices. One can almost hear the sigh as he cataloged the 'devices,' presumably noting their lamentable lack of sophistication and utter failure to adhere to industry best practices.

It seems the primary grievance isn't the audacious intent itself, but the sheer unprofessionalism on display. The expert's testimony, rather than painting a picture of grave danger, seemed to lament a missed opportunity for a truly impressive bang. Perhaps, the court implied, had the accused bothered to consult a reputable online forum, or at least a well-thumbed copy of "Anarchist's Cookbook 2.0," this embarrassing display of DIY zealotry could have been avoided. Justice, it appears, is now less about guilt and more about the quality control of one’s destructive ambitions.