Experts Confirm West Ham-Tottenham Stream Visible From Purgatory

The recent groundbreaking revelation confirms that the clash between West Ham United and Tottenham Hotspur is indeed accessible from the antechambers of the afterlife. Experts, presumably those with a very specific, otherworldly kind of Wi-Fi access, have determined that souls residing in Purgatory can now tune in. One can only imagine the existential quandary: is this a solace, a distraction from penance, or merely an additional, perpetual torment? The thought of eternal limbo punctuated by VAR decisions and a perpetually mid-table London derby truly adds a new layer to the concept of suffering.

This unprecedented reach highlights a triumph of modern technology, ensuring that no sentient being, regardless of their temporal or ethereal state, ever misses a moment of the Premier League’s endless churn. It begs the question, if celestial beings can now access the match, perhaps our terrestrial priorities are perfectly aligned. Why bother with world peace or universal healthcare when the truly pressing issue – uninterrupted football for the spiritually waylaid – has finally been addressed?