Ethereum Dips To $4K While Applying For Unemployment Benefits

Reports indicate that Ethereum (ETH), long touted as the future of everything from digital art to disrupting global finance, is reportedly exploring options for state-funded assistance. Following a dramatic decline in market value, which saw its digital toe dip uncomfortably below the $4,000 threshold, sources close to the blockchain suggest it's considering what a human might call 'unemployment benefits'.

This move comes as a shock to investors who believed the very nature of decentralized finance precluded such prosaic needs. One might wonder what 'unemployment' truly means for a network of computers. Does it imply the algorithms are no longer "working"? Or perhaps it's simply experiencing a bout of existential ennui, much like its human counterparts in the volatile world of cryptocurrency trading. Analysts are now debating whether its application will be processed by a human clerk, or if an AI bot will have the dubious honor of rejecting a digital entity's plea for a meager stipend.