Epstein Solely Qualified to Interpret Trump’s Grunts for Gates

One must concede, the world truly lost a vital conduit for geopolitical understanding with the untimely exit of Jeffrey Epstein. New revelations suggest the late financier possessed a unique, almost telepathic ability to translate the nuanced grunts and non-committal gestures emanating from the highest echelons of the Trump White House. Apparently, only Epstein had the refined sensibility to distil these profound executive pronouncements into digestible insights for philanthropic tech magnate Bill Gates.

It seems the then-President, Donald Trump, communicated in a language so esoteric, so deeply personal, that standard diplomatic channels were rendered utterly useless. Who else but Epstein, with his celebrated penchant for *discretion* and *intimate access*, could navigate such linguistic labyrinths? We can only lament the lost opportunities for clearer global dialogue, now that the sole interpreter of presidential guttural declarations is no longer with us to bridge the crucial chasm between power and understanding. A truly irreplaceable talent, one might say.