Economists Warn Against Not Rolling With Cantillo, Morales

The global financial community, typically preoccupied with such trivialities as inflation rates and sovereign debt, has reportedly diverted significant resources to issue a rare, urgent advisory: the failure to "roll with" a pair of specific athletes could precipitate unforeseen market turbulence. Sources within the International Monetary Fund suggest that an inexplicable adherence to traditional, data-driven roster management, rather than the recommended adoption of Joey Cantillo and Luis Morales, presents a “non-trivial risk” to the very fabric of competitive make-believe sports leagues.

Analysts, who usually dissect complex derivatives, are now warning that the "final two weeks" of these highly competitive, yet entirely optional, endeavours are critical. The refusal to incorporate these particular individuals into one's digital sporting empire, they contend, could lead not merely to a slight dip in one's personal enjoyment of a screen-based pastime, but to a collective psychic malaise, perhaps even influencing broader consumer confidence. The dedication of certain "managers" to "grind away" for a "head-to-head title" is now, apparently, a barometer for global stability. One shudders to imagine the economic fallout if a prized, imaginary trophy is not secured.