Easy Training Methods Deemed Morally Reprehensible

It appears the burgeoning trend of efficient, evidence-based training for aspiring triathletes has been met with a righteous indignation previously reserved for minor infractions like chewing too loudly. According to seasoned swim sensei Wayne Goldsmith, the pursuit of athletic excellence is not merely a physical endeavor but a profound moral struggle, one where comfort is a vice and convenience a cardinal sin.

One must, it seems, choose suffering. Any deviation from this path — perhaps by, gasp, utilizing modern sports science to optimize recovery or improve technique without punitive effort — is tantamount to cheating the very fabric of one’s being. Gone are the days when mere results mattered; now, it’s about the performative agony. To train "the easy way" is to commit a grave disservice to the Iron Gods, ensuring not only a slower finish but, more importantly, a less virtuous soul. The implication is clear: if you’re not actively hating every second, you’re not trying hard enough, and frankly, you’re probably a terrible person.