Durov Detained For Attempting To Encrypt His Jet's Manifest

It appears the digital realm's most vocal advocate for absolute privacy may have overextended his particular brand of zeal. Pavel Durov, the enigmatic founder of the messaging behemoth Telegram, found himself rather less private this past Saturday evening, reportedly apprehended upon disembarking his private aerial conveyance at the illustrious Le Bourget Airport. The alleged transgression? A daring, if somewhat anachronistic, attempt to apply his famed end-to-end encryption protocols to the very manifest of his luxury jet.

Eyewitnesses, likely still reeling from the sheer audacity, described Durov's purported efforts to render his passenger list unintelligible to mere mortal eyes. One can only imagine the frantic scene as agents reportedly discovered him attempting to obscure names with what appeared to be a Sharpie, while muttering about a "post-quantum cipher" being implemented via a series of strategically placed sticky notes. Such a flagrant disregard for standard aviation transparency, particularly in a jurisdiction famed for its bureaucratic precision, simply cannot stand. One truly must wonder if the next step was to try and encrypt the jet fuel. The costs associated with such an act, however, remain classified.