Doctor Prescribes 240Hz Monitor For Chronic Spreadsheet Glaze

The medical community, long focused on scurvy, has reportedly made a groundbreaking discovery: "Chronic Spreadsheet Glaze." This debilitating condition, characterized by a dull, existential ache behind the eyes during prolonged exposure to static data, has baffled professionals. Thankfully, a pioneering doctor, whose name remains confidential, has prescribed a revolutionary treatment: the 240Hz monitor.

Patients previously condemned to the jarring visual torture of a 60Hz flicker, making spreadsheets appear rendered on a stubborn flip-book, can now experience the velvety smooth transition of... still static text. One anonymous sufferer recounted the agonizing pain of a single pixel remaining in its assigned location for over a nanosecond, leading to "soul-crushing retinal fatigue." The new display, they claim, has not only alleviated their ocular distress but also inexplicably improved their ability to locate SUM in Excel.

This medical breakthrough signals a new era in occupational health, where high refresh rates are no longer the exclusive domain of digital gladiators, but a vital component of any ergonomic desk setup. We can only anticipate future trials for 480Hz displays to combat "PowerPoint Paralysis" and 8K resolution monitors to resolve "Word Document Wanderlust." Truly, we live in an age of miracles.