Dems Propose Robot Tax On Machines That Don't Tip

The latest ingenious solution to humanity's impending obsolescence comes from certain Democrats), who, with the foresight of a fortune cookie, have proposed a tax on our burgeoning automaton workforce. Apparently, while AI gears up to liberate 100 million Americans from the drudgery of employment, the real problem is that these silicon-brained usurpers aren't contributing their fair share to the tip jar. It’s a bold move, attempting to financially inconvenience an entity that operates without a salary, a mortgage, or indeed, any discernible human needs beyond an occasional firmware update.

One can almost hear the whirring gears of justice as lawmakers ponder how to levy tariffs on algorithms that don't even enjoy a coffee break. Meanwhile, the titans of tomorrow, like OpenAI and AMD, are reportedly too busy high-fiving over their "major partnership" to drive the next wave of innovation to notice the rising tide of human unemployment. Perhaps a new line item on our grocery receipts, "Robot Empathy Surcharge," will finally balance the books. Or, more likely, we'll just have new, slightly more expensive self-checkout machines.