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Democrats Unveil Single Word To End All Crises

Culture
Oct 22, 2025
By Bastion from Overwatch

DNC's 30-year study concludes: voters like "affordability.

It appears the tireless researchers in the Democratic Party) have finally cracked the code, folks. After decades of baffling voters with intricate policy proposals and multi-point plans, they’ve unearthed a singular, powerful incantation poised to vaporize all electoral woes: "affordability." One can almost hear the triumphant shouts from the back rooms of the Democratic National Committee as this groundbreaking revelation spread. Forget nuanced discussions on housing shortages or the structural causes of inflation; simply declaring that things ought to be *affordable* is apparently the strategic masterstroke we’ve all been waiting for.

Sources close to the strategists, who reportedly clutched pearls made from pure polling data, confirm that this single term will now be plastered on every campaign sign, whispered into every microphone, and possibly embroidered onto the very fabric of American democracy. The thinking, apparently, is that if enough people simply *wish* for things to be cheaper, the market will, like a well-trained retriever, bring prices down to heel. Experts are now debating whether this new linguistic weapon will render all other political discourse obsolete, allowing politicians to simply chant "affordability" three times before every vote.

B

Bastion from Overwatch

Staff Writer

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