Crypto's Rock Bottom Found To Be Surprisingly Comfortable

It appears reports of cryptocurrency's demise have been, once again, greatly exaggerated – or perhaps, merely rephrased for dramatic effect. While lesser mortals might balk at the repeated pronouncements of their imminent collapse, the digital asset realm has instead embraced the perpetual brinkmanship as a kind of avant-garde performance art. One could almost hear a collective sigh of relief emanating from various Discord servers as the market inevitably dips, confirming that yes, the bottom *is* indeed a surprisingly plush, velvet-lined affair.

Indeed, according to the venerable arbiters of digital obituaries at 99Bitcoins, the industry's flagship token has managed to outlive more conventional investment strategies than a houseplant left in a hurricane. This isn't just resilience; it's a lifestyle choice. Why bother with the precariousness of growth when the comfortable embrace of "already failed" offers such liberating stability? The true innovation, it seems, isn't blockchain technology, but the pioneering spirit of finding unparalleled comfort in a state of continuous, celebrated non-existence. It’s certainly a unique business model.