City Approves Permits For Chainlink's New $46 Express Lane

The city council, in a move widely anticipated by absolutely no one outside of a very specific Discord server, has officially greenlit permits for what is being optimistically dubbed "Chainlink's new $46 Express Lane." This groundbreaking piece of infrastructure, visible only to those with truly exceptional market foresight and a fully loaded digital wallet, promises to dramatically reduce the theoretical transit time for speculative value, shaving nanoseconds off the journey to an unspecified, yet purportedly golden, financial destination. Developers assert the lane will alleviate congestion in the increasingly volatile digital thoroughfares, ensuring a smoother ride for investors' dreams.

Questions from bewildered residents regarding the lane's physical location, its structural integrity, and whether it might offer any tangible benefits to actual taxpayers remain largely unanswered. Proponents, however, are quick to laud the project as a visionary leap in urban planning, integrating the ethereal realms of cryptocurrency with concrete civic responsibilities. While the exact methodology for its construction remains shrouded in proprietary algorithms, it is understood that the lane, designed exclusively for Chainlink transactions, will feature an innovative toll system: your first-born's retirement fund.