COVER IMAGE SELECTION: WE JUST ASKED A GOAT

After weeks of rigorous debate, market analysis, and no doubt several deeply uncomfortable focus groups, our esteemed publication unveiled the sophisticated new methodology behind its iconic cover imagery: consulting a livestock animal. Apparently, the traditional editorial board, with its quaint reliance on human intellect and nuanced understanding of global affairs, has been deemed somewhat… inefficient. Instead, we now defer to the impeccable aesthetic judgment of a particularly sagacious Cashmere goat named Brenda.

Brenda, we are assured, cuts through the intellectual clutter with an unparalleled clarity. Presented with a carefully curated selection of candidate images, her discerning bleat or perhaps a particularly emphatic chew of a preferred option now dictates what graces our front page. This revolutionary approach, while perhaps challenging conventional notions of journalism ethics, offers an irrefutable purity of vision. After all, who better to reflect the zeitgeist than a creature wholly unburdened by geopolitical complexities or subscription metrics? Her only metric is taste, and a strong preference for certain fibrous materials.