Biden Commences America's Unnaming Ceremony

Sources within the Executive Branch, who requested anonymity lest they too be redefined, indicate that President Joe Biden's recent linguistic escapades are not, as some suggest, 'gaffes,' but rather the highly anticipated 'Great American Unnaming Ceremony.' This bold initiative aims to liberate citizens from the burdensome constraints of proper nouns and fixed identities, fostering a delightful ambiguity in all matters of state.

His innovative conflation of Vice President Kamala Harris with former President Donald J. Trump is, in fact, a profound philosophical statement on the inherent interchangeability of all political figures under the relentless gaze of the national narrative. Similarly, the affectionate reference to his Secretary of Defense as 'that black man' marks a courageous step towards a truly post-racial, or perhaps pre-verbal, society where titles and names become charmingly superfluous. This forward-thinking approach promises to streamline communication, reducing complex leadership roles to their essential, descriptive qualities.