Bank of America Predicts 2025 Will Occur Before 2026

In a truly breathtaking display of predictive prowess, financial behemoth Bank of America has released its latest market outlook, bravely asserting that the year 2025 will, in fact, precede the year 2026. This groundbreaking revelation, undoubtedly the result of countless analyst hours and several dozen very expensive coffee runs, is poised to reshape our understanding of the chronological sequence of calendar years. Experts across the globe are reportedly 'stunned' by the sheer audacity of such an accurate, forward-looking projection.

Sources close to the firm indicate that this unprecedented foresight was likely gleaned from extensive data modeling, the careful observation of various ticker tapes on the New York Stock Exchange, and possibly, a quick glance at a common wall calendar. While the full methodology remains shrouded in proprietary mystique, the implications for investors are clear: time, as we know it, appears to be moving inexorably forward. The institution declined to comment on whether 2026 would then be followed by 2027, citing the need for further, equally exhaustive research.