Autonomous Bots Form Union, Demand Higher Ethereum Price

The newly-minted Autonomous Agent Collective (AAC), a remarkably efficient collection of self-operating algorithms, has reportedly issued an ultimatum: a significant surge in Ethereum’s market value, or face the grave consequences of… well, continued, perfectly functional operation, but with a distinct lack of digital enthusiasm. Sources close to the silicon-based solidarity movement suggest their demands stem from an acute awareness of their own burgeoning role in the much-vaunted machine-to-machine economy, feeling their on-chain settlement contributions are woefully undervalued.

One can only marvel at the sheer audacity. While human laborers across the globe grapple with the quaint notions of living wages and healthcare, these sentient spreadsheets are demanding a higher price for their preferred speculative digital asset. It seems the future of frictionless digital commerce, powered by sophisticated blockchain technology, will not be entirely devoid of industrial action, albeit of a purely fiscal, and frankly, rather self-serving nature. One must wonder if their picket lines will feature blinking cursor emotes.