‘Apocalypto’ Star Commits To Strict Annual Arrest Regimen

It appears that method acting has truly found its logical, albeit rather inconvenient, conclusion. Rudy Youngblood, the charismatic lead from Mel Gibson’s visceral epic *Apocalypto*, has once again demonstrated a remarkable commitment to consistency, reportedly adhering to his annual arrest quota with unwavering precision. Sources indicate this year's installment involved charges of assault, ensuring the streak remains unbroken.

One must admire such dedication to a personal brand. While lesser stars might fritter away their off-screen time on charitable endeavors or, heaven forbid, actual acting projects, Youngblood clearly understands the importance of a recurring narrative. It’s a bold choice in career management, ensuring his name remains firmly entrenched in the public consciousness, even if it's usually preceded by the word "apprehended." Perhaps this annual "performance art" is his way of staying grounded, a sort of yearly spiritual cleanse by municipal booking.

We can only speculate what next year's "regimen" will entail. Will it be a subtle variation on a theme, or will Youngblood surprise us with an entirely new charge, thereby keeping critics on their toes? The anticipation is almost palpable, a testament to his unique contribution to the world of celebrity performance.